it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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