we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
