I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No subtext here. People are naked.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
