The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
