I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
dude. I can hear the air.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
