The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
