a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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