Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i will never coherently bang her
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize