Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
