last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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