It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
