Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize