so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize