are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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