Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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