I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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