I wish I could punch you in the face.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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