How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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