Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
