He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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