Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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