I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
