Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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