I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
