batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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