I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
