Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
