I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
