So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I came so hard my ears popped.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
