i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
