We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
