Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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