He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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