He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
