I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize