I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
