Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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