My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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