All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
