Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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