My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
