Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
