Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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