Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
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