looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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