so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
