what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
