I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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