it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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