Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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