I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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