There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You have to summon your inner elephant
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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