i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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