New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
