He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
