i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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