Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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