yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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