Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
