i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
