I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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