and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
