I murdered the dance floor call the cops
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize