All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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